SIRADIN RAYUWA

kuma ya maida raunannun idanun shi a kanta, har barci ya soma fizgar ta kadan-kadan. Ya so ace ta bude ido ya tambayeta yadda akai ta fado daga bene, amma itama kamar ta fahimci take-taken shi na neman a shirya shi yasa ta tamke idon ta a zuwan barci take, farin-ciki fal a zuciyarta. Ta godewa cokalelen takalminta da yayi sanadiyyar fadowarta daga bene da bata san yaushe Faisal zai kula ta bama balle har ya nuna damuwar shi a kanta irin haka, wato shine Aunty Saratu ke cewa ta kirkiri ciwon karya, sannan ne zata gane Ya Faisal din ya damu da ita ko bai damu da ita ba? Allah sarki Antinta, ashe itama abin ya dameta, kamar yadda ya addabi rayuwarta? Chinyere tayi nocking ta shigo rike da warmers din abinci kanana guda uku cikin Kwando, da leda cike da apple da lemun zaki manya manya, ta aje bisa dan tebir dake gaban gadon Intisar suna magana da Faisal cikin yarbanci, ta bi bayan mijinta bayan ta jawo masu kofar. Haka ya zauna shiru ya rasa abinda ke mai dadi, in ya kai hannu da niyyar ya tasheta taci abinci sai kuma ya fasa, don yana tsoron kukan nan nata mara sauti dake girgiza mai zuciya. Nan dai ya zuba mata ido wata irin kauna da soyayya na ratsa shi, ya rasa abinda zai yi. Gaba daya ya mance komi, sai kaunar Intisar din shi dake azalzalarshi a zuci da ruhi, wata da watanni, kwana da kwanaki, shekara da shekaru. Yau gata a matsayin mallakin shi amma ya bari Shaidan yana kada mishi gangi da wani shirme na banza wanda ita ya lura bai dameta ba; abinda ta san dai-dai da rayuwarta ne shi kawai take yi. Bai sanda ya bi ya kwanta a bayanta ba, ya rungumeta cikin wani irin yanayi mara fasaltuwa da bai taba tsintar kanshi a cikin irinsa ba. Ita kam in banda ajiyar zuciya ba abinda take yi, kamin wasu hawaye masu dumi (warm-tears) su malalo ta gefen idonta. Hawayen farin-ciki na karshe a rayuwarta. Ta bude idanuwanta farrr! A kanshi, ya juyo ta sosai suka dubi juna, yayi wani murmushi da rabon da ta ganshi yayi irinsa tun tana makaranta a Riyadh, ya lumshe idonshi ahankali, ya ce, “Please forgive me Inti na, ban san me ke damuna ba, ban san abinda ke min ciwo ba. Ba mamaki ina da tabin hankali a kan kaunarki shiyasa na kasa amincewa da ke tun bayan da kike son Alameen.� Ta toshe mai baki ta soma rero mai kukan da ke azabtar da zuciyar shi. Ya ce “Please please Inteesar na roke ki, don Allah in zaki azabtar da ni bata wannan hanyar ba, bata wadannan hawayen da kike ta zubarwa a dalilina ba, kuskure ne na san nayi amman kema ai da laifin ki, baki san yadda zaki baiwa matun hakuri ba balle ki nuna kin san abinda yake ciki, ko ki nuna dan I care, aah, ke kanki kawai kika sani. Amma ai kema dai Baby kin san I can’t do without you.� Ta lumshe idon ta a hankali, wani matsanancin farin-ciki da bata taba ji ba yana ratsa ta, ta ce, “Amma dai Ya Faisal sanin kanka ne ko zan so wani a rayuwata ba zan so shi irin yadda na soka ba? Kuma komai ai mukaddari ne daga Allah, rayuwar mu duka a rubace take a Lauhul-Mahfuz ba mu muke tsarawa kan mu rayuwa ba. Kuma na dauka da kai da Alameen duk abu daya ne, ba banbanci? Don haka idan na so Alameen ai kamar na so Ya Faisal ne tunda babu bambaci daga uwa har uba, har ma kamanni. Idan na so Alameen na so shi ne a rashin Faisal! Na so shi ne don wasu qualities nashi da sukai kama da na Faisal!! Na so shi ne don ya nuna kulawa da ni da alamari na irin yadda Faisal ke mini!. Naso shi ne don kasancewar shi jinin Daddy Makarfi. Ni kuwa duk jinin wannan mutum abin so ne da kauna a gareni. Amma duk cikin su na fi son Ya Faisal nafi kaunar Ya Faisal tunda duk ya fi su kauna ta. Wannan kaunar da ya nuna mini, tun ban san kaina ba, ita ta gina wani tsiro a zuciyata yayi ta girma har yau inda nake. Ban taba tunanin dai-dai da rana daya Ya Faisal zaka yi tunanin bana son ka ba, ban taba tunanin zaka taba zato na da yaudarar ka ba. To in yaudare ka in ce na yaudari wa? Na yaudari kaina? Tunda kuwa kai kadai ne zuciyata ta ginu a son ka da kaunar ka? Baka sani ba, tun kana a muharramina na sha kimantaka a matsayin miji a gareni. Na sha tunanin in da a ce kai ne zaka zamo miji na wace irin saa zanyi? Na sha tunanin idan ka auri wata ba ni ba ni yaya zan yi? Na sha zama in yi tunanin ni a rayuwata bazan taba yin aure ba, sai dai in zo gidanka da matarka in zauna. A wadannan shekarun zuciyata bata taba hutawa ba ko sau daya da tunanin ka. Haka gangar jikina bai taba daina azabtuwa ba da begen ka. Na sha yin mafarke mafarke na ni da kai a matsayin miji da mata, ga yaya zagaye damu, cikin wata irin rayuwar soyayya, ban taba fadawa kowa ba. A yau zan gaya maka wani sirrina da daga ni sai Ubangiji na muka san shi; na sha zuwa ina leken ka a dakinka in kana barci, a lokacinda ma na san cewa (uban mu daya). Na sha yin kuka kamar in fidda raina a duk sanda nayi tunanin ba zamu iya auren juna ba. Son da nake maka Ya Faisal wani iri ne da ni kaina ban san iyakar sa ba. Koda na fara jin kaunar Alameen a ranar da na fara ganinsa, na so shi ne sabida muryarku da take iri daya, na so shi ne domin maganganun shi na hankali da nuna kauna duk irin naka ne. Kana tsammanin mai irin wannan son zai taba canza shi zuwa zalinci ko kiyayyah? A ganina idan na gaya ma hakan a sanda kake zargina, cewa zakayi don na rasa Alameen ne, ba zaka taba yarda dani ba, zaka ce tausayinka kawai nake ji shiyasa nima na dake zuciyata na bika da yadda kake soooo Ragowar maganar makalewa tayi cikin makoshinta, domin Faisal yayi nisa wurin fiddo mata zahirin kaunar da yake mata bai ko damu da hannun da ke ciwo ba. Da wasu sabbin alamurada bata san dasu a nature din halittar biladama ba (physical relationship). Ashe ita kauna ta fatar baki ta sani, bata san mecece kauna ta sassan jiki ba. Banbancin yake nuna mata a farrake filla-filla between oral one and emotional one wadanda suka tabbatar mata har yau ita BABY ce, jaririya dake rarrafe a fannin soyayyah. Wadanda suka san so da kaunar kam tafiya suke da kafafun su; basa bata yawun bakin su wurin fassara ta; nuna ta suke emotionally and practically. Ta samu kanta a wata sabuwar duniya ta daban, da bata taba tsintar kanta a ciki ba. Ashe dai wannan itace soyayyar ita sobeka ta sani? Duk abinda take gani cikin mafarkinta (kamar yadda tace) a yau Faisal ya nuna mata a zahiri, har ma wanda bata gani ba, sababbi kar a cikin ledar su. Wasu hawayen suka kara zubo mata, wadanda ta tabbatar a wanan karon na farin-ciki ne! Hawayen da ta tabbatar sune na karshe a rayuwarta! Masha Allah- lakuwwata illah billah. Takorin ku ce, ke yi maku fatan alkhairi. 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